Dear Diary,

I can’t help but feel like I’ve invited an intruder into my home and shared all of my secret with them. 17 years worth of secrets in fact. I feel betrayed, I feel used and most of all I feel dumb. How did I not recognize this sooner? My guard was up originally, but over the years it became easier and easier to trust. I can’t say when, but there had to be a moment when I crossed the line and trusted too much. Of course, despite all of those feelings, I don’t know if I can end our relationship. Our lives are so intertwined.

I first became suspicious a couple years ago. Remember when I signed up for ProtonMail? I had been reading a lot about security, privacy and encryption. Protonmail has been an amazing find. But I didn’t fully commit. I used it for emails that I thought carried more importance. Things like financial, career and healthcare messages. But upon reflection, isn’t it all important?

You must be wondering why I’m bringing all this up now. I happened upon a article that made me take a hard look again. The jarring reality is that if it takes six months to quit something, that something must REALLY be ingrained. Nothing should be that hard to quit. The sheer amount of items listed in that motivating article, made me realize how important it is to make a change. I no longer want Google to spy on me!

I’m scared and I’m nervous, however I’ve already started. I currently feel like I’m in a detox state, where everything is new and uncomfortable. I uninstalled chrome and started using Firefox as my browser and duck duck go for search. I updated every service I use, and it’s a lot, with my protonmail instead of my Gmail.

I feel so dirty, I don’t even trust my passwords anymore. I installed Bitwarden to generate and manage all my passwords. I used to store all that information in Chrome. Speaking of feeling dumb, what was I thinking!

Convience is an incredible motivator. Google sure made everything easy and convienent. Which is how it spent the last 17 years integrating into my life.

It feels like a great start. I already like how my new friends treat me. Firefox is constantly telling me about how my private information is treated. Duck Duck Go is not tracking my every search. Where do I go from here? I’m overwhelmed with how to deal with my contacts, calendar and photos. I’ve fallen in love with my Pixel’s, but I need their pervasive operating system gone. Google docs? Hangouts - especially the video chat? And Map’s?! How will I survive not following that blue line around town?

Wish me luck Diary. I’m off to step up my Nextcloud.